Dear World's Average Height/Tall Guys,

Dear Average/Tall Males of the World,

Let's discuss that you should start liking short girls. I get that you probably will have less awkward looking wedding photos with taller girls, but think of your future children. Give the short girls a chance to have at least average heighted babies. I mean, honestly, tall people reproducing with other tall people keeps all the tall genes away from those of us without them. If tall guys continue along this path of having a thing for the tall girls, as time approaches infinity, all the people in this world will either be really tall or really short. We will lose the average heighted people all together!! Tall males (especially good looking ones), do you want this to happen?? Are you trying to stunt the growth of my future babies?? (While that last question was a bit of an exaggeration, it is really not fair to 1. be short, 2. not be taken seriously because of being short, and 3. have to, everyday, watch tall girls get everything in life.) Therefore, if you're a male who is 5'10" or taller, next time you decide to start liking/dating/whatever a girl, please make sure she's on the short side (and I mean shorter than 5'4"). Your future average/tall heighted children will thank you later :)

Sincerely,
Me

My Future

Let's discuss boats for a second. Probably one of man's greatest inventions--maybe behind the wheel, modern medicine, airplanes, etc.--but regardless, boats are the best. After a recent journey on probably the greatest boat ever (I swear, it was like a yacht on crack!), I decided that one would be necessary in my future. Considering I am neither a Kennedy nor marrying European royalty, I am going to work awfully hard to fund such a lofty life dream.

Mean Girls and Wonders :)

Let's discuss that this movie is magic! Mean Girls is utter magic from start to finish; the entire film is quotable. This gave me the idea to enlist my entire repertory of movies to make a list of the most quotable movies along with some of their best quotations. I will probably add to this list as time goes on and I see more films, but for starters:

Mean Girls -- Basically the ENTIRE movie (Kevin Gnapoor's rap is PRICELESS!!)
Heavyweights -- Ben Stiller is a MASTER!
No Strings Attached -- Ashton Kutcher's character makes Natalie Portman's character a mix cd for her period
Death to Smoochy -- Robin Williams, Edward Norton, and Danny DeVito at their finest!
What About Bob? -- Bob is a FABULOUS character. Hilarious is all ways.
The Jerk -- Steve Martin as a young, black boy. Just as magic as it sounds.
Johnny Dangerously -- "You fargin' sneaky bastage"

Sounds Like My Prom Night...

Let's discuss that I want to go back to prom. My brother's prom is coming up, and it's that time of year again, when facebook is perpetually bombarding me with photos of high-school girls donning fake tans, curly up-dos, and dresses that are far too slutty for anyone but cheap strippers. And I am sick...because I want to go back to prom, as it was SUPER fun. Honestly, I thought the pre-prom pictures were always the best. It was like being a princess, where you really couldn't look unphotogenic because you were dressed to the nines! And if your dress didn't come off the "little hookers" line, it was very elegant. Soon, I'm going to take pictures of my brother and his date, and be rather jealous of all the fun they're going to have.

I think it really goes back to me feeling old. Let's discuss that I'm not old, but I feel it when I see high school-ers going to prom. Having gone to two myself, I loved wearing the dress and getting all dolled up! Sadly, those prom days are probably the only two days I'll ever wear such a fancy dress that I chose myself (unless I get married, but even then the color of the dress is pretty standard). So let's celebrate the magic of prom!!

Here are some awkward prom pics from the 90s!

Mario Kart and Life

So, to celebrate the end of sophomore year, the halfway point in college, I played a little Mario Kart with my floor. Let's discuss the wonder that is Mario Kart and the individual transformation that takes place when the controller gets in my hands...

For starters, the swear words practically fly out of my mouth like a fighter jet on crack. My volume intensifies by probably 100 decibels, and I get so enthusiastic that my leg shakes to get out all my excess energy. I become extremely intense, and move my controller along with my player as if by turning it to the right, my character will make a sharper right turn.

Sounds cool, right? WRONG!! It would be cool, if I had actual skills at Mario Kart, but I am absolutely horrendous. Seriously...worse than Princess Beatrice's fashion sense. As offensive as it sounds, I embody all women drivers stereotypes when I play Mario Kart. On the Rainbow Road course, I legitimately fell off the road 30 times, and I didn't even make it all three laps because I got last place and the game stopped prematurely. It was a magical mess.

The times have really changed because I remember I was awesome at Mario Kart for N64. Put the same game in cube form, and nothing is the same. It's like a metaphor for life: when you try something new, you regress before you progress. It's a lesson in structural unemployment. When you know old technology, sometimes the economy demands you learn something new.

So the game was fun, but after all last place finishes and a sore thumb, I realize that it's not all about winning. It's about yelling and swearing when you fall off the road and into the burning lava.

Newly Found Wonder

Let's discuss the magic of bag sales. You pay a flat rate for a bag, and then  proceed to fill the bag to the max with anything and everything you could possibly ever want or need. I recently attended one of these bag sales, and for the mere price of $2 bought a deck of cards, a few ugly sweaters (I am SO ready for a tacky Christmas sweater party!!), birthday cards, a Disney Princess phone, rulers, and 2 belts. I would say that the experience of rummaging through a 1980s-1990s grandmother's closet is, in itself, worth the money. But no, I got to keep the wonders I could pile in the bag!! What a great day, right?

I sincerely appreciated this awesome event, and wanted to recommend bag sales/rummage sales to anyone while discussing their greatness. All I can say is: I am a huge fan.

Everyone's thinking it...

Let's discuss that I sincerely hope the new "thing" for princes worldwide to do is find a "commoner" and marry her...because if that is the case, I want to take a tour around the world and meet these princes, as I happen to be a "commoner."

But really, I don't exactly understand this whole "Royal Wedding" fiasco that occurred a few hours ago. Let's be real here: do you honestly think William and Kate are going to wake up early or record your wedding? I don't, which is precisely why I slept right through the wedding this morning. I did awake, however, to Victoria Beckham's fabulous navy unicorn hat.

Which leads me to my third point: I want to wear one of those hats and be serious about it. I could only see myself wearing one as a joke, but those look totally fun to sport. I'm thinking of making one out of a garden hose, ballerina slippers, and some ribbon...

First Post

I am trying this out, as a place for my thoughts and opinions about anything and everything...nothing particular.